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10 Ways You’re Making Your Life Harder Than It Has To Be
1. You ascribe intent.
Another driver cut you off. Your friend never texted you back. Your co-worker
went to lunch without you. Everyone can find a reason to be offended on a
steady basis. So what caused you to be offended? You assigned bad intent
to these otherwise innocuous actions. You took it as a personal affront,
a slap in the face.
Happy people do not do this. They don’t take things personally.
They don’t ascribe intent to the unintentional actions of others.
2. You’re the star of your own movie.
It is little wonder that you believe the world revolves around you.
After all, you have been at the very center of every experience you
have ever had.
You are the star of your own movie. You wrote the script. You know
how you want it to unfold. You even know how you want it to end.
Unfortunately you forgot to give your script to anyone else. As a result,
people are unaware of the role they are supposed to play. Then, when
they screw up their lines, or fail to fall in love with you or don’t give
you a promotion, your movie is ruined.
Lose your script. Let someone else star once in awhile. Welcome new
characters. Embrace plot twists.
3. You fast forward to apocalypse.
I have a bad habit of fast forwarding everything to its worst possible
outcome and being pleasantly surprised when the result is marginally
better than utter disaster or jail time. My mind unnecessarily wrestles
with events that aren’t even remotely likely. My sore throat is cancer.
My lost driver’s license fell into the hands of an al-Qaeda operative
who will wipe out my savings account.
Negativity only breeds more negativity. It is a happiness riptide.
It will carry you away from shore and if you don’t swim away from it,
will pull you under.
4. You have unrealistic and/or uncommunicated expectations.
Among their many shortcomings of your family and friends is the harsh
reality that they cannot read your mind or anticipate your whims.
Did your boyfriend forget the six and a half month anniversary of your
first movie date? Did your girlfriend refuse to call at an appointed hour?
Did your friend fail to fawn over your tribal tattoo?
Unmet expectations will be at the root of most of your unhappiness in life.
Minimize your expectations, maximize your joy.
5. You are waiting for a sign.
I have a friend who won’t make a decision without receiving a “sign.”
I suppose she is waiting on a trumpeted announcement from God.
She is constantly paralyzed by a divinity that is either heavily obscured
or frustratingly tardy. I’m not disavowing that fate or a higher power
plays a role in our lives. I’m just saying that it is better to help shape
fate than be governed by it.
6. You don’t take risks.
Two words: Live boldly. Every single time you are offered a choice
that involves greater risk, take it. You will lose on many of them but
when you add them up at the end of your life you’ll be glad you did.
7. You constantly compare your life to others.
A few years ago I was invited to a nice party at a big warehouse downtown.
I was enjoying the smooth jazz, box wine and crustless sandwiches.
What more could a guy want? Later in the evening I noticed a steady
parade of well-heeled people slide past and disappear into another room.
I peeked and saw a large party with beautiful revelers dancing and carrying
on like Bacchus. Suddenly my gig wasn’t as fun as it had been all because
it didn’t appear to measure up to the party next door- a party I didn’t even
know existed until just moments before.
I do this frequently. Those people are having more fun. Mary has a bigger
boat. Craig gets all the lucky breaks. Ted has more money. John is better looking.
Stop it.
Always remember what Teddy Roosevelt said: “Comparison is the thief of joy.”
8. You let other people steal from you.
If you had a million dollars in cash under your mattress, you would check
it regularly and take precautions to insure it is safe. The one possession
you have that is more important than money is time. But you don’t do
anything to protect it. In fact you willingly give it to thieves. Selfish
people, egotistical people, negative people, people who won’t shut up.
Treat your time like Fort Knox. Guard it closely and give it only to those
who deserve and respect it.
9. You can’t/won’t let go.
These are getting a little harder aren’t they? That’s because sometimes you
have to work at happiness. Some hurdles are too difficult to clear by simply
adjusting your point of view or adopting a positive mindset.
Do you need to forgive someone? Do you need to turn your back on a
failed relationship? Do you need to come to terms with the death of a
loved one?
Life is full of loss. But, in a sense, real happiness would not be possible
without it. It helps us appreciate and savor the things that really matter.
It helps us grow. It can help us help others grow.
Closure is a word for people who have never really suffered. There’s no
such thing. Just try to “manage” your loss. Put it in perspective. You will
always have some regret and doubt about your loss. You may always
second guess yourself. If only you had said this, or tried that.
You’re not alone. Find someone who understands and talk to that person.
Reach out for support. If all else fails, try #10 below.
10. You don’t give back.
One way to deal with loss is to immerse yourself in doing good.
Volunteer. Get involved in life.
It doesn’t even have to be a big, structured thing. Say a kind word.
Encourage someone. Pay a visit to someone who is alone. Get away
from yourself absorption.
When it comes down to it, there are two types of people in this world.
There are givers and there are takers. Givers are happy. Takers are
miserable. What are you?
Tack får lånet av denna lista Tim Hoch ;)
I wish You a Lovely Day! Hugs
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